Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
