I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
