there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
