In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize