I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
