names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
