Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
