Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
