OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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