So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
