Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
