I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
