Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just forgot I was standing up.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
