champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
