UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He better not be in your backpack
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
