I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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