so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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