it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
