Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
