You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize