I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
