can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.