I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
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America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
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Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.