also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
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Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
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There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD