Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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