she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
