Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just pee around me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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