I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
