trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
