she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
