Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
