My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
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he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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