Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
