There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
how does that bad decision feel?
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