Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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