And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
