PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize