I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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