He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Boobs speak an international language.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
