At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
