My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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