I'm going to jail i love you
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
