how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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