I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
so much tequila, so little girl.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
