I'm going to jail i love you
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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