are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
