i think my tv is drunk
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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