she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You left your phone here
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