and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Boobs speak an international language.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
