Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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