What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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