ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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