I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
