i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
