When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
A bitchslap is in order.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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