Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
