I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
