I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
