bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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