Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
foreskin is a definite game changer
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
