I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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