Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
handjob tips. give me some.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
