Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
